a month of masturbation
What happens when you touch yourself (and make yourself come) every day? that’s the journey i was on for the last 4.5 months. i wanted to support my mental health with it and when i shared on social media about how instead it triggered my erotic aliveness, it went viral. the people called for inspiration. so here it is.
A self-led practice for a month.You touch yourself once a day without a fixed when or how. Keep it uncomplicated, so it doesn’t feel like another to do but stay committed (also through the resistance).
Every time you notice yourself falling into the trap of avoidance or chasing quick releases, you choose to do it differently the next day. This is the work.
Weekly prompts and tools.Every Saturday I’ll send you 3-5 prompts. You can follow them or let them spark your own exploration or continue to do your very own thing. At the end of the journey, you’ll have 12-20 new practices to potentially spark your erotic aliveness.
These prompts are gender neutral, so this journey really is for everyone.
Why not daily prompts? Because it’s fundamental you’re following your body and develop agency.
The group space (optional but important).There’s an optional Telegram space for those who want to do this alongside others (we start on 28/3).
A place to:
share small reflections
be honest about what’s coming up
stay connected when motivation drops
You don’t have to join. Though you should know that being seen in the process can shift a lot. And if you join, it requires your active participation aka. share and witness - not just witness.
Here is what it did for me
When you’re not doing well mentally, your erotic aliveness usually fades too. Science proves that they’re bidirectional, so when you reconnect to your body and your pleasure, something in your mental system starts to shift too.
They’re not separate.
Your erotic life and your wellbeing influence each other: directly, physically, chemically.
Because I knew this - I have been working in this industry for six years now - and I was a very depressy girlie, I decided part of my mental health protocol would be a daily orgasm.
There are many amazing self pleasure frameworks out there, especially in the world of sexological bodywork. However, I needed this to stay simple and uncomplicated. Everything else would have felt like another to do on the list that I simply didn’t have capacity for.
So I made two commitments: make myself come every morning no matter how and track+change when I was falling into a chasing of quick releases without being in the proper presence with my body.
Because after all, this wasn’t about the orgasms, it was about triggering my erotic energy and hence generating more of my life force again. It worked.
I was naturally starting to deepen my practice over time. My masturbation turned into elongated self pleasure rituals that didn’t even end in orgasms. I kept being really honest with myself what I was avoiding and meeting and generally I tried to make myself feel good, though don’t be fooled feeling resistance is a big part of this journey too.
These days I feel so full of juice and creative energy and my sex feels delicious and my mental health has improved a lot (I changed more habits than just the orgasms).
THIS IS AN EXPERIMENT FOR YOUR EROTIC ALIVENESS
*
THIS IS AN EXPERIMENT FOR YOUR EROTIC ALIVENESS *
so what is a month of masturbation about and who is it for?
This is a month of daily practice to come (back) into erotic contact with yourself and be in the honest inquiry of what’s there.
This is for you if you:
feel a bit disconnected from your body or your eroticism
notice patterns of avoidance or numbness, both physically and mentally
want to expand your tolerance for pleasure
are curious what happens when you experience the bliss of orgasmic ecstasy every day
want a simple structure to return to yourself each day
You’re also welcome if none of this fully lands and something in you is just… curious.
Those whole thing really is as simple as it sounds. Make yourself come every day and stay present with what is arising through that.
It’s simple but not easy.
What you might notice
Over the course of the month, things can start to shift, subtly or more clearly.
You might notice:
moments of deeper sensation
less urgency to “finish”
more awareness of your patterns
resistance, boredom or frustration or secret other things
a desire to avoid the practice altogether
unexpected emotions
or simply more presence with yourself
Some days will feel open. Others won’t and you’ll curse this practice.
Both are part of it.
This isn’t about building a perfect habit or becoming more sexual.
It’s about becoming more honest in your experience and staying with yourself a little longer than you usually would and that way get your juices going.
make yourself come.
the post i wrote about my daily o
Meet the one behind this:
Hi, my name is Marry. I spent the last six years working in different fields of the sex industry. From sex education to relationship & sex therapy to facilitating intimate and erotic group spaces to sex work. You could say I know a thing or two about sex. I’m geeky AF about all the sexy things, though it’s actually never about the sex itself for me. It’s about what the intimacy and power of it can do for our humanity.
I always try to keep a real and human and accessible approach, though I also well know how to go full blown woo-woo. I have a foot in both worlds and you can usually feel this in my work.